Until recently, I have always been resilient to change. Whether it was a change in class schedule, for I always felt as if I was just settling in and then it was time to change again, or a change in friends, which i have had plenty experience in, or a change in scenery, which I just recently have experienced.
Growing up, I went through a lot of friends. Each time I would "break-up" with certain friends, I always felt sad and angry to have to do it. Sometimes, I knew I should begin to drift for my own good, even if it made me sad, and other times it was my parents idea to get away from certain people and it's obvious I was resentful of that. But now, I look back and I am thankful for these experiences I've had, to learn about not only myself and what I look for in a friend, but the ways of others.
I have definitely been the victim of manipulation and have been taken advantage of as a friend. These people that didn't respect me or appreciate me, quickly learned that I was a good thing in their life. I don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but it's true. The friends that I had to break it off with in a fight or slowly drifting away have told me that they miss me and are sorry for how they treated me. I accept their apologizes, but I know now that that change was the best thing for me. It opened me up to other people that I would rather spend my time with.
After being free of these people, I found my best friend of today. She has been my friend through all of the falling outs of our different friend groups that we've shared and I think that says something. I see other people and their friends and I pity them because they don't know what it feels like to have a best friend that acts as your other half. Honestly, I don't know where I would be without that stable relationship that I have in my best friend and I have reason to believe that that friendship isn't going anywhere.
Anyway, back to the whole change thing. Nothing is as it has been. There are never two times in your life when things are exactly the same, there will always be something different. Change is inescapable.
Too often do we look back and long for the past. I find myself doing this all the time, wishing things could just go back to the way they were. Because things seemed better then. But I know it's impossible and I might as well just accept the present.
Moving to another city and attending college, away from everything I've ever know, is quite the change. I made new friends, develop friends with people i've known from my past, and lost friends. It happens. And in this case, it's a good thing. I have learned that I shouldn't be wasting my time with people whom have qualities I don't admire. There comes a time to just let it go. Let the past go.
Even though I've only been at college for almost a year now, I have already experienced a change in friends. At the beginning of the year, we formed a definite group of friends that we did everything with. "The Gang". We always invited each other to whatever we were doing and constantly came up with new things to do because we loved being with each other that much. But then, we started to get busy with school, sports, or new friends and began to drift apart. I had problems with my roommate, who was in the gang, and that added to the distance. Now it's me seeing only a few of the original members on a weekly basis. It's sad. Looking back, I remember how happy we all were and how fun mundane activities became when we were with each other.
But I look back again, and I am just generally thankful that these times happened. I had the best first semester of college I could ask for, thanks to these people. In the process of drifting, I learned a lot about myself and it's nice to still remain in contact with each other, at least I try.
So I beg the question again, what is it about change that is so scary? We know it's bound to happen, so why do we hide from it? In most cases, change is a great thing. It's nice to have a new routine or new friends as long as you stay grateful for what got you to the place you're in. I'm starting to be open to change and when someone asks me to do something, I'll do it, because it has the potential to change my life.
I like to remember that there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
Optimism towards the future is such a powerful quality to have because it brings one peace instead of fear. When I think about the future, I have so much hope it's often sickening. But I'd rather be hopeful everyday than scared.
Change is inevitable, and is often for the best, so why not embrace it?
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